I was asked a question about taking risks as a part of an interview with Bold Journey Magazine. This is my take on risk.
I believe to take risk you have to find courage. To find courage you have to acknowledge what’s at stake and determine that what’s on the other side of the risk is worth taking the leap. Courage means taking action despite the feeling of fear and without any guarantees.
I recently published a book called “Shedding Shame: Finding Freedom to Live an Authentic Life.” And it was very scary because it’s very personal. In it, I write about the shame I felt growing up with gay parents in the 80’s. I’m actually the biological child of two gay parents who went on to find their same sex life partners. We were a very close family but we had a secret. This was a secret I held very close to my heart for the majority of my life. I didn’t share my story because of fear of what others would think about me and my family. And for real fear of harm both physical and emotional. When I was younger I wasn’t willing to take that risk.
As an adult, I experienced more shame in my marriage which ultimately led to divorce. There were challenges with mental illness and infidelity with my husband which once again I chose to keep a secret. I felt shame for what was happening and didn’t want anyone to know how difficult things were.
But after getting divorced I did a lot of work on myself to come to a place where I no longer wanted to live with that shame. My book is about this journey and the tools I discovered to help me live more authentically. When it came time to publish, the old familiar fear would creep back in and made me question my decision to let the world know my story. But I knew my story was valuable. I knew it was important to share. And I knew it could help others who are also struggling with shame which is likely preventing them from living their best, most authentic life.
I had to recognize that by taking the risk and moving through my fear, I would not only further benefit my own journey by claiming my voice and taking back my power, but that it would inspire others to do the same. When I would start to feel the fear, I would remind myself of what’s at stake. To not tell my story, would be perpetuating the “playing small” that I did throughout my life. It would be letting all those that made me feel shame have power over me. I had to overcome that fear to show that being vulnerable and owning your truth will always be more important than the fear. By taking the risk, I am freeing myself to live a more happy and authentic life. And I get to show others it’s possible and perhaps inspire them to find the freedom to live their most authentic life.