When I was a teenager, my dad took me to a self-help conference. I had no idea what to expect, and the keynote speaker challenged everyone to go to the bathroom during the next break, look in the mirror, and say, "I love you." At the break, I did as she suggested. Standing in front of the mirror, I tried to say those three simple words but couldn't. Instead, I wept, realizing for the first time how difficult it was for me to express love for myself. This profound moment stayed with me, and I later wrote about it in my book, Shedding Shame: Finding the Freedom to Live an Authentic Life.
Saying "I love you" to yourself can be a transformative practice, and the steps are simple yet impactful.
Begin by finding a quiet, private space where you feel safe and comfortable. This could be your bathroom, bedroom, or any place with a mirror. The environment should be calming, allowing you to focus solely on yourself without distractions.
Next, stand in front of the mirror and take a few deep breaths to center yourself. Look directly into your own eyes. This may feel strange or uncomfortable at first, but it’s important to hold your gaze. Notice the emotions that arise—whether it's discomfort, curiosity, or even resistance. Acknowledge these feelings without judgment.
Now, with intention and sincerity, say the words "I love you" out loud. Speak to yourself as you would to a dear friend or loved one. Feel the words as they leave your mouth, and let them resonate within you. Repeat the phrase several times: "I love you, I love you, I love you." Pay attention to any shifts in your feelings or thoughts as you do this. The goal is not to force a change but to create a space where self-love can begin to grow.
As you continue this practice regularly, you’ll find it becomes more natural. The initial awkwardness will fade, and the words will start to feel genuine. Over time, this simple act can significantly boost your self-esteem, making you feel more confident and valued. It helps counter negative thoughts by replacing self-criticism with much-needed positive affirmations, building a healthier and more optimistic mindset. Loving yourself encourages authenticity, allowing you to live more comfortably and genuinely in your own skin—the way you deserve to live.
Practicing self-love in front of a mirror is a powerful way to connect with yourself on a deeper level. Even if you feel uncomfortable or silly at first, continue practicing it, and it will transform the way you see and treat yourself. Remember, the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for all other relationships in your life. By cultivating self-love, you open the door to greater happiness, peace, and fulfillment. So take a moment today, look yourself in the eyes, and say, "I love you." You deserve it.
Namaste.
If you’re interested in reading about this experience in my book, click here to learn about my book and how to get it.